Emergency Rooms

I do not like emergency rooms.  I was in one Sunday night, for intense pain that turned out to be and intestinal wall infection, swollen lymph nodes, and an inflamed colon.  (By the way, two of my grandparents died from colon problems. Good to know).

Anyway, I got there, and the first thing they did was stick an IV in me.  Ick.  That was probably the most painful thing of all.  Emergency rooms are cold, white, and uncomfortable.  Lots of scary-looking appliances laying around.  Some people are claustrophobic, I have a weird fear of being tied to things.  Being attached to the IV thing was not good for me.  They then took me to a green room with other scary machines.  The smiling nurse with a name tag  that said "Deb" on it said "Alright, drop your pants to your knees."  Just like it was the most normal thing in the world.  I looked at her and said "Pardon?" "Just drop your pants, sweetheart." 

Sweetheart.  Humph.  Yeah, right.  I did what she said, laid on the table, and she placed a white cloth on me.  I immediately felt like I was getting an autopsy.  It is not a good feeling.  I focused on the sign above my head which had two little green men on it.  One had its mouth open very very wide, and the other had its mouth shut and its cheeks puffed out.  I observed them for a few moments.  Then I heard Deb in the background. "You'll have to hold your breath for about 20 seconds.  It is very important."  I panicked, already being a little thrown off from the pain.  I had several practice rounds, then she said, "Here is the real thing".   My bed went up about four feet, then started to go through a large tube, my feet first.  A bunch of machinery started going, and making lots of noise, and I went through the tunnel.  I heard an electronic voice say, "Breathe" then "Hold your breath". 

I did so accordingly.  The little green men on the sign lit up respectively. 

I was told this was a CAT scan, then the pain was so bad that I got wheeled back to my scary white cold room.

The doctor was gone for about an hour, while I sat in absolute boredom.  When he got back, he said, (He was Nigerian, so he couldn't speak English terribly well) "You do not have to go to Duluth, or have surgery, we think it is your colon and such, or it might be muusle spasms."  Yes, I know I spelled muscle wrong, but I spelled it how he pronounced it.  ( :  Moosles, huh?