1. Don't swing that croquet mallet at your brother's head!
2. Stop eating the grass! You aren't really a horse!
3. Don't forget to get your doll out of the tree.
4. Put shoes on before you walk in the manure!
5. Hey! Stop injecting air through a bike pump into the VCR!
6. No, we can NOT eat marshmallows for dinner.
7. I told you once, I told you a million times, do not hit your sister with a metal meter stick!
8. Hello, Mom, we have to take Wendy to the E.R. because Shane hit her with an air compressor hose.
9. No, 6 year old boy, you may not drive the riding lawn mower around the puppy- and sister-filled yard.
10. Get your clothes back on, mister! I have a video camera rolling!
11. No, darling 10 year old, you may NOT streak in the middle of January!
12. Alright, four and six year olds, strip down on the porch, run to the bathroom, and I will be in to turn the shower on cold in a moment. You will also be scrubbing the floor later. This will teach you not to swim in mud puddles.
13. Never ever throw snowballs at 1800 pound bulls again, young lady!
14. Chickens are livestock, not toys.
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